Don't Choke Your Love By Spending Too Much Time Together

Beyond providing emotional support in our time of need, spending time with others helps to strengthen our identification as a couple and make us feel connected to the world.

Couples need have time for themselves, either to pursue their own interests or just to relax. Personal time allows us to maintain our individual identities, provides opportunities to do things we like to do, and lets us feel like we have some control over our lives. Alone time can actually help to keep a relationship fresh and less stressful. 

How much personal time is optimal varies from couple to couple.  When handled correctly, each partner feels they’re getting their fair share. Here perceptions are more important than the actual number of hours. Even if couples spend very little time together or very little time apart, the relationship is fine if the proportion is what they both want. 

If each partner has different perspectives, however, the amount of time together and apart can be a source of conflict. For some partners, too much together time can be suffocating, while for others too little can make them feel insecure and isolated.

Balance in every aspect of life is important, especially in relationships. Too much time together can allow problems to arise and fester. Spending time apart grants the opportunity to view your relationship and its challenges objectively. Not spending every waking second with your partner allows you to clearly realize what that person means to you, and what they bring to your life.

Don’t be the girl who stops participating in the group chat because you have a boyfriend now. Your friends are still as important as ever. They may feel a little hurt if you abandoned them for someone else, especially since they’ll be the ones who’ll be there for you if your relationship doesn’t work out. They’ll also be the ones who will keep you sane after the two of you get into your first big fight. Treat them with a little respect and make sure you plan a lot of fun, guy-free hangouts with them.

Most of all develop a healthy relationship. No relationship can survive being up under one another 24 hours a day. It's not healthy for anyone.Whether you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years or two weeks (or simply thinking about getting back into the game), it’s important to remember that you are a whole person and were a whole person before you became part of a team. And just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to be with them 24/7. Being apart from them allows you to reset and feel comfortable being with your own company.