Flags He Is Using You for Sex

If you have been keeping up with Season 12 of Lifetime’s Married At First Sight, then you know that it has been quite a chaotic journey for Paige Banks and the partner that she has been paired with, Chris Williams. From episode one, it’s no question that Paige is an amazing young Black woman who’s got it going on and is without a question a superior catch for anyone who is lucky enough to align with her. Her energy, her personality, and her beauty made it easy for her to become a fan favorite. However, it can be said plainly that her partner is not as equally yoked. Adding insult to injury not even a month into the union, we come to learn that Chris’s ex-fiance has a child on the way which further complicates the relationship that we see Paige is committed to salvaging. 

It is almost from the very first moment we are hoodwinked by  Chris and we feel really awful for Paige. The show was hoodwinked. just blown out the water considering that Chris was intimate with  his ex-fiancee during the show's investigative period. Chris is insisting that it is a thing if him wanting to be father of his child. He  justifies that he wants no other man around his kid.  Chris comes to the table after sleeping with  Paige to say that  he no longer wants to be with her but with his ex. It's heat wrenching. 

Sometimes, it's really hard to tell where you stand with a guy, especially in this social media dating age, where we operate in such a grey area. It's easy to get a lot of attention from a guy without him actually being present in real life.

I was just frustrated with this season in the biggest way. It  has made me want to to rescue her and tell him off. I mean this guy used her for sex without ever really living up to being in a real relationship.

Please be mindful  that he is using you for sex if the following are true:

He Never Listens and Wants to Know You

If his eyes glaze over every time you start talking about your love of knitting, if he always turns the subject back to how great he is at Call of Duty, or if it just never really feels like you have his full attention, then chances are, he's not interested in moving forward. If a man wants a relationship, he naturally wants to know who you are and what you are up to,

He Makes You Feel Guilt Or Shame

Feel like you have to have sex with your guy in order to make him happy? Like it's a defining part of your relationship?

Yeah, that's a red flag.

Ball explains, "If you start to feel that you need to give in to him and have sex to make him happy, he has successfully shamed you into sex, and that will not lead to a long-term relationship. Ever."

Additionally, the guy who shames you into sex really guilts you for not giving in to him.

"He wants some sort of acknowledgement or 'payment' for taking you out or spending his time with you. No one who wants to be with you long term wants guilt sex," she continues.

He Outright Says He Is Only Interested In Sex

Sometimes, we hear what we want to hear or hope that we can change people. But guess what? You can't change someone.

The feminine story is to take a rough, unrefined bad boy and tame him — like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. She takes an uncaring, monstrous brute (who doesn't want a relationship) and with a few lessons in etiquette, table manners, and true love's kiss, she transforms him into a kind, loving, and loyal prince. The same general theme is present between Ana and Christian in 50 Shades of Grey. Love or hate it, it was the fastest selling novel of all time because it directly touched the feminine subconscious.

Oh man, is this true or what. Why are women fed this bullsh*t? Society has ruined us!

Women shouldn't try to change a guy and his desires, no matter how tempting it is.

So when he says 'I don't want a relationship,' she should take that statement seriously and not let her subconscious say, 'PERFECT! LET'S TAME HIM!' At that point, she's free to wish him well and carry on looking for what she wants."

This feels like very good advice.

You can't change someone, and you should take men at their action and their word. If it seems like he is only using you for sex, well, then he probably is.

But if someone likes you, then it's easy to tell. A guy will make sure you know that, because he won't want you running off with someone else.

If you want to be sure you are moving toward a meaningful relationship, then do not attempt to tame a wild and disinterested beast that has no plan of becoming a dragon-slaying hero.