Steps To Loving You

You cannot expect others to love you if you do not love yourself.

It sounds so simple.

It really is the root cause of why people have as many problems as they do in this world. They do not express the love that God gave them within themselves.  If we look at why there is such low  self esteem amongst our  people, it is because  we do not contain self love. 

There is a wonderful Gospel song that has the lyrics: “‘I Will… Bless The Lord …Oh My Soul… And All That Is Within Me …Bless His Holy Name” .

 If we can sing these words we must understand that the blessings start within me.

Here are a few things to  begin  your self love project.

1- Forgive You – I know people who have carried their mistakes with them their entire life, and as result they remain unhappy at the core. I know what it’s like to make a mistake and feel like you shouldn’t be forgiven, but that kind of thinking is nonsense. There is no action not worthy of forgiveness.

2- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others – I’m just as guilty as the next person in this area, for this is something that I too struggle with. I’ve come to realize the more you compare yourself to others the less self worth you place on yourself. Only when you stop comparing yourself to others can you then begin to love yourself. See the beauty in you. There is no one created that is like you. You are a masterpiece. 

3- Stop Seeking Approval- Seeking approval is similar to comparing yourself to others, and it’s fair to say that we all do it from time to time. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never sought approval from my family or friends, but I’m also going to tell you that when approval was my main focus those were also not the happiest times in my life. When you are a teenager, your life is a scale of approvals. When you become an adult come to a place of self acceptance. There are things about you that are true. There are things that you need to improve upon. You do not need the group think to validate you.

4- Believe In Yourself– Loving and believing in yourself go hand in hand. You can’t love yourself if you don’t believe in yourself, and you can’t believe in yourself if you don’t love yourself first. To fully experience what it means to love you must have a confidence in all you do, even during the times in which you come up short. You can't love anyone else if you don't love yourself. All you are doing is giving what you think is love and not what is the real essence of love. 

5- Trust Your Judgment - Know that through both the good and bad you are worthy. Inside of yourself you do know essentially what is best for you and how to apply it. Don't kid yourself in to believing that you are less knowledgeable about you. Our instincts are amazing gauges. They trigger things inside us.

6- Eat Healthy And Exercise– Part of loving yourself is allowing your body to be in its top form. An occasional indulgence in alcohol or some fast food isn’t the end of the  world but making a habit of destroying your body is. When you go to yo check ups, rest when you are tired and tend to your body when it needs something. Try a simple walk around a park. That walk will make such a difference. If you are working take 3 minutes and walk across the street and walk back. 

7- Express Yourself– Holding back on what you feel and how you feel makes you a prisoner inside. You do not deserve to be a prisoner. This is not what your Creator made you for. He made you to love, be loved and to know the world. He did not make you to be a mat. No one should walk all over you. No one should use you. 

8- Listen carefully to those who love you. Yes there are people who really love and want the best for you. You may not want to hear what  they say. You may even take offense from something that they say but know that they those who really love and care about you want the best for you.

If you really want to change the world, if you really want to experience that life you’ve always desired, you must first love yourself fully, because all the advice in the world won’t matter if you don’t. 

It won’t always be easy, but your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Make each day a day in which you continue to deepen your relationship with yourself and experience the life you know you were meant to live. The world depends on you to love yourself.